Lately I've been working. Working long hours which is good but at the same time it makes it difficult to decide what really needs to happen and in what order. Today I was driving the backhoe home and my mind was spinning thinking of three things, all of equal priority, that needed to happen and I couldn't decide which to do first.
Most of the time I have a larger project that I break down into "chunks" which makes it easier to ultimately achieve one's goal. I think my "projects" and "goals" right now are so big to me that the "chunks" are also big and hard to accomplish.
I don't know why it all seems so hard right now. Naomi is in Egypt now and is going to see the Pyramids. I'm really excited for her of course but MN is duller than ever. I wish she was closer. Why are we oceans apart? I've had a cold for the past three days and this weekend is shaping up to be pretty crazy. I need working hours. I'm buying a house. I'm planning for a certain big event next summer. I need sleep. Time is money. Money isn't everything.
Last week Pastor talked about being materialistic. I am a bit that way even though I don't like to admit it. It is something that I need to pray about and ask God to help me with. My dad was saying the other day that, as he gets older, things just really feel temporary and he is right. This earth isn't going to be here forever. I'm not going to be 19 forever and at 19 I've already lived about 1/4th of my life. Am I using it the way God would want me to?
My personal devotions have fallen behind. Almost every morning we read the Bible together as a family but I haven't really been listening. It's almost like listening to the radio but not really "hearing" what it is saying. Just background noise taking the back seat to my thoughts. I don't think I've opened my Bible since Sunday and it is nearly Thursday.
I need to get into a better routine. Why can't I seem to find time to read my Bible? I work long hours and spend a lot of time talking to Naomi and writing emails but that is all I seem to be able to do. I can't use the excuse of not having time because that is a lie. If anyone tells me they don't have time for something it really isn't true. What they are really saying is that "it isn't important enough to change my schedule for". If I'm too busy for God and God says we are to love Him more than anyone or anything, how can I spend so much time earning money and fulfilling my earthly relationships but not even have time to open my Bible? It isn't right. Today, this is the real me. I'm not perfect and tonight I'll admit it.
I'm sorry that it has been so long since I've last posted anything. I "don't have time" these days. I need to get back to my Bible before any more blogging or anything else happens. I'm hoping to do a post or two on my house project so hopefully I'll get that done soon! I really want to keep people updated and it is especially important that I take time to get some updates through to a few far away places! ;)
God bless and happy Thanksgiving!